Tuesday, 13 August 2019

I didn't know

I was not aware that, all the time, I was writing about NPDs (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). My mother is NPD, whole her family is NPD, the men I loved are NPDs, most of my teachers were NPDs (this is a real misfortune that even at school, I was surrounded by them), my bosses and colleagues were NPDs. I published "Guide for (Ultimate) Losers," and I was completely unaware that I am referring to this kind of 'personality' in it. 

This very discovery helped much more than any kind of therapy or auto-therapy could do. Because, once I learned about it from academic sources, I stopped believing that I can fix any one of these people, for they are... fixed personalities. They don't want to change although, sometimes, they pretend they want being healed in order to keep their victims close and to continue their torment. Well, I did suspect I cannot change such a person - that's why I stopped contacting my non-mother and her non-family - but there is always this tiny hope of a little child, betrayed by the parents, that if he/she would do or say something in a different way, the family member will understand everything and the things will be better from now on. No, nothing will be better! Never!

I am quite sure that in most cases of 'mental health issues', the problem is that we are stuck in our NPD non-parents' or caregivers' minds. We function in their system of 'values', we constantly operate the terminology they had invented for the purposes of their crooked brains. We are NEVER free. People with anxiety problems, depression, CHAD or schizophrenia are inmates in these prisons of evil people who "were destined to be lost".

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