Tuesday 26 November 2019

Narc's Turning Point

Why do the narcs need followers? They don't exist without fans around them; they crave the limelight as other humans need oxygen.

The mechanism is simple - people who don't have a conscience still need someone who'd back their actions. People who hate themselves seek 'love' somewhere else. The last thing you can tell about narcs is that they are independent. And don't be fooled by how they ghost or discard others - finding new followers (better looking, wealthier ones) is easy as a walk in the park for these individuals.

Narcissists find themselves as the most unattractive beings in this world. But, contrary to the suicides, they never will admit that fact. They look at themselves through the eyes of other people, and since they have this fantastic ability to find enthusiasts of their fake image in every circumstance, they don't see any flaws. Very convenient, isn't it? Except it is not.

As I witnessed, the narcissist can instantly turn suicidal. Let all these followers disappear; let them vanish along with fame, fortune, and, in some cases, a person who was a narc's victim, e.g., the child. Such a situation may be the beginning of the end or... a chance. Will he or she use it as a turning point? That depends only on individual choice.

Wednesday 20 November 2019

The mystery of the suicidal brain

You may have a narcissistic wound, yet you don't have to become a narc. But if you don't seek help, this wound will turn your life into a nightmare, and, eventually, it may lead you to suicidal death. This is what happened to me. Thank God I didn't kill myself, and for the first time in my life, I don't want to die (since I was six, to be exact), but I live with the trauma that paints my reality in very dark shades. 

Yes, I believe that narcs and suicides are two sides of the same coin. However, people with a narcissistic personality disorder willingly choose to hurt others to make their lives more bearable; they do not develop a conscience. They use their natural talents for immoral purposes. These talents are: creating a fake image and the ability to summon their own followers. 

Becoming popular or even a famous person is the primary goal of every narc. That's why creating the image consumes the whole of their energy. Hurting or destroying other individuals doesn't bother them. They suppress every single remorse, and they do that until the conscience is silenced for good. 

People with suicidal thoughts want to be liked. It seems to be similar to a narc's desire to become famous but make no mistake - they desperately want to please everyone but themselves, for they think this is the only way to stop hating themselves. They, too, live in dependency mode, but they are not interested in fame and popularity. Those people, just like I did, think that they don't deserve to be treated well, and very often, they are children of narcissistic parents. 

I will never understand why persons with this kind of wound choose such different paths. I don't know precisely why I became a suicide with mental health problems, not a narcissistic personality. Sometimes, this direction was very tempting and seemed easier to endure. Maybe it's because I have chosen God and His plan for my life, or perhaps some other factors have prevailed. I really want to discover the truth. 

Sunday 3 November 2019

Project manager for life

If you are not loved by anyone, you feel like you are drowning. All the time. 

The pain comes back one time by another, and you cannot escape it because the only cure is being loved by someone significant. 

This is how we were created - we must experience love; otherwise, our life is unbearable. 

I've learned to provide good things for myself, which is very helpful. Some moments of my existence are too hard, though, and I need to acquire the ability to cope with them. The nervous system is 'overloaded,' I am tired and a bit confused.

In fact, at some point, the life of a person who did not experience love and who did experience a lot of abuse turns into a big project of coping with the results of a painful past. And most people around us have no idea about our fight; they don't see survivors in us. We're lucky if they don't consider us as losers.

A Good Life

As I wrote once, life becomes a big project of coping with daily-basis problems if you have mental health issues. It's not easy, for it ...