Saturday 23 December 2017


I've reached some critical point. With my emotions, of course. But I had once an epiphany in which I saw that I need to "let my feelings free". 

"Mhm..." - I thougth at first. - "And what? Should I scream or cry, or do something else that is unacceptable in so called society?"

But then, I realised that this is a good direction. And, when the right moment came, I had been screaming, crying and I made a tantrum no one saw before, at least not in the company I work in. As a result, I got what I wanted to get.

Naturally, such behaviour shouldn't be something normal, for nobody would like to work with me. But it was too much to handle. I found myself in the situation that was this one drop which poured a cup of bitterness. 

This experience forced me to think about emotions in a little bit different light. I got this conclusion that the anger my colleagues could witness was a "primary emotion", and I didn't let myself for the convenience of expressing it before because it had been "overwritten" by other emotions, imprinted in upbringing process - guilt, shame, anxiety. 

But why should I be ashamed by my emotions? Even if someone says that they are not adequate to the situation. Well, who has the real insight into my internal situation and who knows what the external circumstances are? No one! Only me. I had a very good reason to be angry or despaired and I expressed it though I didn't count on anybody's response. Yet, there was a good reaction, and I shouldn't forget that.

And this is the issue I am pondering of lately. I seek for "primary emotions", I dig them out of my mind and I untangle anxious thoughts. 

Monday 18 December 2017

December Hat-Trick

So, it's done - "Guide For (Ultimate) Losers" is available on Amazon for every reader who is too lazy to click post by on post this very blog. 

What is interesting, today is a special day also because one of magazines from IT sector published an article I wrote with my colleague about cloudiators. Yep, I am a journalist again (this is my first occupation and profession), and I am an "expert" in branch that was always far from my personal interests.

And there is a third reason this Monday is not an ordinary day. Eight years ago, exactly 18th of December, I launched my very first blog. The blog doesn't exist anymore, but the next ones turned out to be very profitable for me, though not in terms of money. (I assume, this time I will be broke too).

Is it some kind of closed cycle finally? Does it mean I left my loop without falling into another one? This year, I indeed finished some "old cases" that had been tormenting me for over a decade. And I feel very odd with that fact... 

Tuesday 12 December 2017

Tuesday 28 November 2017


The cover doesn't look merry, but life of the loser is not happy either

Monday 27 November 2017

"Guide For Losers"

Yep! This title is perfect.

Since I feel as a complete loser today (bloody Monday), I decided to publish this blog.

However, this is not a guide per se, because I do not advise how not to be a loser or how to become one. For last two years, I had been trying to understand why do I find myself as a total disaster even if the facts say something else...

Let's get work!

Wednesday 22 November 2017

Social Media Queen

Well... maybe not a queen yet, but I intend to be one since I want to exist as a serious writer or publisher. Let's say I'm warming up ;)

So, there is an Instagram account: 



And of course official site: 

Feel free to visit 😊

A Good Life

As I wrote once, life becomes a big project of coping with daily-basis problems if you have mental health issues. It's not easy, for it ...