If you were not loved by anyone, you feel like you are drowning. All the time.
The pain comes back one time by another, and you have no way to escape it because the only cure is being loved by someone significant.
This is how we were created - we must experience love; otherwise, our life is unbearable.
I've learned to provide good things for myself, which is very helpful. There are moments of my existence that are too hard, though, and I need to acquire the ability to cope with them. The nervous system is 'overloaded,' I am tired and bit confused.
In fact, at some point, the life of a person who did not experience love and who did experience a lot of abuse turns into a big project of coping with the results of a painful past. And most of the people around us have no idea about our fight; they don't see survivors in us. We're lucky if they don't consider us as losers.