Monday, 13 January 2020

Meghan, the Queen of narcs

I have been observing this drama for some time, perhaps six or so months. I only started my research with regards to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and everything that was related to this topic interested me very much. I don't know what was first exactly: some blog posts, or maybe I was checking specific hashtags on Twitter. Nevertheless, I've learned that some people find Meghan Markle an NPD person. So, since I was regularly updated, current events didn't shock me, not as much as they shocked most of the population. I only didn't expect she would come to the realization of her vicious, though evident for rational thinking people, plans so soon. Well, I suppose she was simply annoyed by pretending. 

This woman makes me creeps. Sometimes, she makes the exact facial expressions my narc-non-mother did. Yet, such a story helps me with my own past. Why? Because if you witness with your own eyes as one narcissistic wench destroys the monarchy lasting for nearly a Millenium, you are less eager to underestimate the person who was bulldozing your life for decades. 

Every narc has an agenda. Always! You may think that MM planned to become the biggest star in this world, and the British monarchy was just a trampoline to achieve this goal. Probably, she feels the same. Or maybe we are wrong in this matter, and the aim is in a completely different place. 

NPDs (just as the suicides, people with anorexia, or people who hurt themselves with sharp objects) don't have a sense of control over their own lives. So, they control others. Imagine how insecure Markle must have been since she needed to take control of one of the most powerful families in the world. Her 'dependency mode' reached the highest level of all, as high as the one of Martin Luter's who dared to confront the Catholic Church, the most potent organization back then. 

And you know what? I think she feels hurt by fate; she indeed suffers and has the feeling that she needs to recover what she has lost. Many people believe she's calculating, but if so, there wouldn't be a rush. Calculating people, eg., psychopaths, are cold, while MM is in a fever. How can I tell that? Well, I was 'raised' by one of her kind.

This story helped me understand two things. First, I finally faced the music and apprehended, vague up to this point, suspicions that my non-mother always had an agenda, and I always knew what it was. Everything was calculated to make me a personal servant for life. Every word, gesture, and a decision was supposed to keep me with her. She had been using many tools to accomplish her plan, but the most wicked ones were guilt, anxiety, playing the victim card, and isolation. Second, I realized there was something else hidden, just as in the case of MM. Non-mother too felt mistreated by fate's current, and she also craved for proper compensation. But foremost, this was an act of revenge on my non-father for not loving her and showing me affection instead.

I can only add one thing - poor Archie...

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