Monday 13 January 2020

Meghan, the Queen of narcs

I have been observing this drama for perhaps six or so months. I only started my research regarding Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and everything related to this topic interested me very much. I don't know what was first exactly: some blog posts, or maybe I was checking specific hashtags on Twitter. Nevertheless, I've learned that some people find Meghan Markle an NPD person. So, since I was regularly updated, current events didn't shock me, not as much as they shocked most of the population. I didn't expect she would realize her vicious, though evident for rational-thinking people, plans so soon. Well, I suppose she was simply annoyed by pretending. 

This woman gives me a creep. Sometimes, she makes the exact facial expressions my narc-non-mother did. Yet, such a story helps me with my own past. Why? Because if you witness with your own eyes as one narcissistic wench destroys the monarchy lasting for nearly a Millenium, you are less eager to underestimate the person who was bulldozing your life for decades. 

Every narc has an agenda. Always! You may think that MM planned to become the biggest star in this world, and the British monarchy was just a trampoline to achieve this goal. Probably, she feels the same. Or maybe we are wrong in this matter, and the aim is in a completely different place. 

NPDs (just like suicides, people with anorexia, or people who hurt themselves with sharp objects) don't have a sense of control over their own lives. So, they control others. Imagine how insecure Markle must have been since she needed to take control of one of the most powerful families in the world. Her 'dependency mode' reached the highest level of all, as high as the one of Martin Luter's who dared to confront the Catholic Church, the most potent organization back then. 

And you know what? She feels hurt by fate; she suffers and must recover what she has lost. Many people believe she's calculating, but there wouldn't be a rush if so. Calculating people, e.g., psychopaths, are cold, while MM has a fever. How can I tell that? Well, I was 'raised' by one of her kind.

This story helped me understand two things. First, I finally faced the music and apprehended, vague up to this point, suspicions that my non-mother always had an agenda, and I always knew what it was. Everything was calculated to make me a personal servant for life. Every word, gesture, and decision was supposed to keep me with her. She had been using many tools to accomplish her plan, but the most wicked were guilt, anxiety, playing the victim card, and isolation. Second, I realized there was something else hidden, just as in the case of MM. Non-mother, too, felt mistreated by fate's current, and she also craved proper compensation. But foremost, this was an act of revenge on my non-father for not loving her and showing me affection instead.

I can only add one thing - poor Archie...

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